Mio Compleanno (My Birthday)

Tuesday, 29 December, was my 50th birthday.  I know it's just a number, but this particular number has caused me to freak out a little bit, not that I actually feel my chronological age.  I hope I don't look my chronological age! But the number brings up some things that I have to face, like the aging process, which I accept not so well.

And yet this birthday was one of the best I remember ever celebrating.

My blog is for myself, although I hope my readers can relate to my posts.  And I still wonder about the direction of my private musings on a public forum. But, oh well, it's all about honesty. And like I said in the "About Me" section, my intention is to share some of my experiences, which includes the emotional and personal aspects of my experiences. So here goes some self-revealing aspects...

Historically, the December holidays and my birthday have not usually been a happy, joyous time of year for me. As a child, having my birthday during the winter holidays during the school break, I often felt forgotten and unrecognized; my teen and adult years, I experienced more of the same with people involved with their families and holidays and being tired of the holidays by the time the 29th rolled around or too hungover to remember; and also being in the tumultuous and rocky relationships I have had caused a lot of sorrow the holiday season often exaggerated. Not expecting much from friends and family, I would downplay my feelings so as not to feel the level of disappointment.

Deciding to finally make this transition to Italy for many, many reasons, one of which is to take my life in a direction I want it to take was the best birthday gift I could have given to myself. The morning of the 29th, I woke up to many meaningful and beautifully written emails, SMSs (text messages), and phone calls and received many more throughout the day. I felt good. Happy. Love in my heart and beaming. Went about my day. In a place I truly want to be, doing what I want to be doing. Visiting friends. Being remembered. Feeling like I do matter. I returned to my apartment and found this gorgeous and unexpected bouquet of flowers at my apartment door (photo) from one of my best friends, sent to me from Switzerland.

I asked for what I wanted, and I received what I wanted. It was a special birthday. Several new and old friends in Italy -- we had dinner together in a restaurant I enjoy and have a lot of fun at and ate two of my favorite dishes: Pepate di Cozze e Vongole (peperoncino hot in an Italian parsely with white wine broth overflowing with mussels and clams) and Bistecca Fiorentina (a seared on the outside, medium rare two-inch thick T-bone steak). We later went to a guitar club to hear live music.

A girl couldn't ask for much more. Truly one of my best birthdays ever, as we continue to make new memories, laughing and getting to know each other better and creating our own little family in Florence, Italy.

-- Josslyn 'Giosalina'
Florence, Italy