In fact, let me reveal a little secret desire. I'd love to see 2,001 hits on my blog by November 7, the anniversary. That's a high expectation, but it is possible. In fact, I can see it. A week from now I am looking at ClustrMaps on my blog, and I see the 2,001 total visits from various parts of the world since I started blogging last year. And you can help make that happen. Of course, it isn't about quantity, but it is a mini Bhavana of mine.
And comment, please! Again, I write for myself foremost. But once again, the ego... I love hearing from you, what moves you, what you like reading, what you don't, or to know whether anyone out there even reads my words. So indulge me with a little ego-stroking now and then, but please keep it genuine. Don't say it if you don't mean it.
My intention since inception has been to write honestly. I want to get to know myself better through my writing and to take risks -- while allowing you to know me too. On the Internet, that's an extremely vulnerable position because the Internet is infinite. And this especially challenges the ego, my ego. Like most of us, I have wasted energy and time worrying about what others think, their judgments of me. Of course, I care and want to be liked -- or better yet, loved -- but in writing honestly, that means I want to write uncensored without fear of what you may think of me, whom I might offend, or what will come back to haunt me (good thing I have no plans of going into politics). Because few people have bothered to really know me, if I died tomorrow, perhaps someone would understand me. Perhaps you even relate to me.
Some posts have been superficial and light, others educational and/or experiential, and some others more self-revealing. I want to share with you my experiences of the place I love, Italy, and my personal evolution in leaving my corporate-American lifestyle to learning how to live a life truer to my heart, spending quality time with people I care about, eating food that's more natural and closer to the source and full of prana, feeling the wind on my face, my feet on the ground instead of driving in my bubble leaving my pod to go to a larger pod and having little human contact on a daily basis. That's how I lived in Los Angeles; that's why I left Los Angeles. That kind of writing isn't always positive and upbeat. Many times it's about disappointment, disillusion, and sadness. Or maybe it's the sadness and grief from long ago that I have yet to resolve; so it keeps reappearing as pedestrians in front of my car. Or the insecurities -- when I have a muffin top, I believe I'm no longer lovable -- and the addictions I battle, and the chatter that goes on inside my head that tells me I'm different from the rest of you, and I believe it! So I still have a long way to go on my personal journey.
I consider a second blog, one in which I can cut loose and let that stuff out and maybe not confuse and scare you, my readers, and find men in white coats at my apartment door with a straitjacket for me to wear. However, as a sole-practitioner, I never liked the idea of having two or more checking accounts -- one for personal, and one for business -- because to me, it's all one pocket. It's all me, and it comes from the same source. And that's how I feel about having another blog. I'd like to keep it all one.
Also, I'm moving away from signing my name at the end of each blog posting. I'll use it when I blog from or about another location. Otherwise, it feels redundant.
Eccomi (Here I am), still a very simple girl moving in the direction of living a simpler, less-complicated and more genuine life in Florence, Italy, one day at a time.
In Pace / In Peace
So appreciative of your genuine emotional honesty. We're all on a journey and, for me, it is much more enjoyable to travel on life's path with people who are open and real; people seeking to deepen their self-knowledge and experience. That, my friend, is you. So whether it's pressing olives and connecting with the earth, walking with Mabelina, or sharing your hopes, dreams and fears - - I'm all ears!
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